


Cat Got Your Tongue?

by alkjira



Series: Three [6]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Multi, Smut, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-29
Updated: 2013-12-29
Packaged: 2018-01-06 16:14:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1108903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alkjira/pseuds/alkjira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Smutty follow-up to diemarysues story: The Mice Will Play.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cat Got Your Tongue?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [diemarysues](https://archiveofourown.org/users/diemarysues/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Mice Will Play](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1097361) by [diemarysues](https://archiveofourown.org/users/diemarysues/pseuds/diemarysues). 



> So this kinda got away from me.
> 
> But hey, full circle! Now I'm the one writing the smut diemarysues teased you with. I hope you'll enjoy it.
> 
> Sorry about the title. I hate titles. And for any spelling/grammar errors / other weirdness.

“Well, well,” said Dwalin, smirking. “What do we have here?”

"A good reason to move this to the bedroom." Bilbo said with a bright smile and nudged at Thorin's shoulders. "Thorin?"

It was hard - pun intended - to resist the lure of the instant gratification it would be to just continue as they were, Dwalin could watch and make suggestions, but Thorin knew that things would be even better if they _did_ move to the bedroom so with a small sigh he pulled away. Only to be stopped by a warm hand at the small of his back pushing him back against Bilbo, which of course also meant that his cock rubbed up against Bilbo’s stomach, and Thorin bit off a curse.  
  
"Not so-," Dwalin paused as he finally noticed what was playing on the telly. " _What_ are you watching?"  
  
“Darling, I know you don’t watch your own show, but still,” Bilbo teased, sounding much too unaffected for someone whose hips kept twitching up against Thorin. Really now, if they didn’t move soon then there would be little use in moving to the bedroom at all. “You don’t even recognize it?”  
  
“Such a smart mouth on you,” Dwalin said with feigned exasperation, reaching up to pull lightly at a curl, and Thorin most definitely did not sigh as his back acquired a cold spot where there had just been a large, warm palm.  
  
“If you were watching me, is it my turn to watch you now?” Dwalin mused.  
  
“Another time,” Bilbo suggested with a warm smile. “I think I have the idea for something better.”

“Not that I really _mind_ ,” Thorin said, as he tried getting up from the couch, and Bilbo, only to be stopped by Dwalin's hand again. “But if we’re going to talk then it feels rather stupid of me to have this conversation with Bilbo’s collar bones.” Not to mention that he was going to come in his pants, and trousers, both of which he still was wearing even if the latter had been unzipped.  
  
“But you look so nice, squirming all over him.” Thorin turned his head to look at his cousin, and lo and behold, there was the familiar leer.  
  
Just exactly when had that gotten so damned hot?  
  
“That’s a bit like I had planned actually,” Bilbo informed them, and Thorin shivered as the blond’s breath tickled his ear.  
  
“Sounds good so far,” Dwalin said, and Thorin shivered again as a hand stroked up the inside of his thigh.  
  
“Getting up now,” he informed them, and actually did succeed in sitting up without crushing Bilbo or being stopped, _again_ , by Dwalin.  
  
“Getting _off_ ,” Dwalin corrected, snickering when Bilbo sighed and batted at his side.  
  
“No, _talking_ ,” Thorin said drily, automatically pulling Bilbo into his lap to make room for Dwalin. That it wasn’t the best of ideas only occurred to him after Bilbo’s all too lovely backside was pressing itself against his - still very much interested in the proceedings – cock.  Right.  
  
“The couch does have room for all of us,” Bilbo pointed out, gesturing to the admittedly fairly large available space to Thorin’s left, however he made no attempt to move away. Of course not. And Thorin could hardly just move him, not that he really wanted to, but… It was quite possible that he should learn how to make better plans.  
  
“Better this way.” Dwalin squeezed himself down in the free space between Thorin and the armrest, and Bilbo shook his head, but still remained where he was on Thorin’s lap, only squirming a little to get more comfortable and leaned his head against Thorin’s shoulder.  
  
Accepting his fate, Thorin wrapped his arm more firmly around Bilbo’s waist and draped the other over Dwalin’s shoulders. Was it ironic or just cruel to die of sexual frustration when one had not only one but _two_ gorgeous lovers pressed up against you? Not to mention that shirtless Dwalin was still parading around on the telly, and was he actually _wet_ now? What exactly had they been _doing_ in this episode?  
  
Thorin wasn’t sure if Tauriel deserved a raise or to be exiled to Siberia, because he would bet that she had a more than one finger in this particular pie.  
  
“So what’s the cunning plan then?” Dwalin asked, nudging his thigh more firmly against Thorin’s.  
  
“It’s nothing complicated,” Bilbo said, reaching over to stroke his hand down Dwalin’s arm. “I’m not about to run and get a notepad and start drawing to explain it. In fact I think we should move this to the bedroom as I remember suggesting and I can explain while we get undressed.”  
  
“Well then,” Dwalin looked at Thorin and raised an eyebrow, nodding his head at Bilbo and winking. “How about we do just that then?”  
  
Thorin smiled when he understood what his cousin was going for. “Sure,” he agreed and Dwalin got to his feet.  
  
Bilbo made a rather endearing squeaky noise as Dwalin hoisted him off Thorin’s lap and up in a fireman’s carry. “Put me down!” he protested, slapping at Dwalin’s thigh with his free hand, and Thorin got up from the couch as well, admiring how Bilbo’s arse wiggled as Dwalin began carrying him in the direction of the bedroom. After a quick mental debate Thorin pushed his trousers the rest of the way down, quickly stepping out of them and bending to pick them up.

“I’m not sure I want to tell you my idea now,” Bilbo said after Dwalin had dumped him on the king sized bed. The blond crossed his arms, and the combination of rumpled blond curls, the petulant set of a pink mouth, and round flushed cheeks was also unfairly attractive and had the side effect of making Thorin feel like he was about to do some despoiling, which was ridiculous as Bilbo was not only in his thirties, he was nowhere near innocent, and was now looking very appreciatively at the lack of Thorin’s trousers.  
  
At least for a moment until he remembered that he was annoyed, and then the frown returned.  
  
“I can improvise,” Dwalin said, reaching behind himself to pull his t-shirt off. Thorin snorted as he went to place his trousers on the dresser.  
  
“It was a _good_ idea though,” Bilbo said, eyes flicking back and forth between Dwalin’s chest (which was even more gorgeous away from the telly, of course it was) and the bulge in Thorin’s pants.  
  
“Did it include you taking off your clothes by any chance?” Dwalin asked, as he leaned over the bed to pull at Bilbo’s belt. “What you were doing before seemed to involve an unfortunate degree of clothes still.”  
  
Thorin felt his ears heat up when Dwalin’s appreciative glance moved over him, thank the gods for his hair.  
  
“Still too much clothes if you ask me,” Dwalin concluded, grinning as he got Bilbo’s belt buckle to cooperate.  
  
“Not that anyone seems to be listening to me, but I can undress myself,” Bilbo told the ceiling.  
  
“Just helping,” Dwalin murmured, cupping Bilbo’s jaw and stretched down for a kiss that turned into several kisses and Thorin only realised that his hand had migrated down his pants when Bilbo made a protesting sound and pushed at Dwalin’s shoulders. That broke the spell that had settled over him. Quickly he stopped stroking his dick and instead bent down to take off his socks. No, he had not been wanking. Nope.  
  
“This wasn’t my idea at all,” Bilbo complained. “Thorin, come here. And not a word out of you,” he added to Dwalin. “Take off your clothes.”  
  
“Bossy, bossy,” Dwalin grinned, straightening up and making quick work of his own belt and trousers.  
  
“You as well,” Bilbo demanded, looking at Thorin.  
  
“I was already undressing,” Thorin said drily, beginning to unfasten the buttons on his shirt. “Before I was interrupted. It seems that the only one not undressing here is lying on the bed.”  
  
“To be fair, I’m done now,” Dwalin said. “And if anyone tells me that I was quick, I’d like to point out that’s not what a man wants to hear in the bedroom.”  
  
“Is he getting worse?” Bilbo asked, and Thorin shrugged one shoulder as the last button slid out of the hole. Then he shrugged off the shirt and quickly folded it.  
  
“I fear I’ve long since become accustomed to him.” Dwalin's jokes had only taken on a sexual dimension after they'd become lovers, but otherwise remained much the same as always.  
  
“Just because I’m the only one here who actually can get something done without making things complicated,” Dwalin said and raised an eyebrow. “Folding your clothes? Really? I can see your hard-on, it’s beginning to be visible from space, and you’re folding your clothes? And you-” he said, turning to Bilbo. “Are _still_ wearing a lot of clothes.”

“Perhaps you can entertain each other then,” Bilbo suggested sweetly. “While you wait for me.”  
  
“The last time you said something like that, I ended up handcuffed to the bed.”  
  
“And it was horrible for you, I’m sure.” Bilbo made a shooing motion. “Go help Thorin with his undershirt and pants.”

“I’m still not hearing much about this plan,” Dwalin grumbled sulkily as he began walking around the bed, and Thorin’s lips twitched.  
  
“There’s really no arguing that I’m the old and mature one, is there?” While Dwalin had some grey in his hair as well, Thorin clearly had him beat when it came to maturity.  
  
“So if I were to do this?” Dwalin murmured, big hand suddenly cupping Thorin’s (still very) interested cock through his pants. “And stroke and rub at you, you’re not about to come in your pants like a teenager?”  
  
“Ruining my plan again!” Bilbo protested.  
  
“Did we sign something that allowed him to boss us around?” Dwalin asked, lowering his voice conspiratorially. “Cause I don’t remember it, but it seems _he_ does.”  
  
“He feeds us,” Thorin stage-whispered, and Dwalin nodded thoughtfully, thumb brushing over the head of Thorin’s cock, sliding over the silky fabric of his boxers, and Thorin’s hips decided to make a fairly undignified twitch without really asking him for permission.

“I rather like your pants,” Dwalin mused, leaning in for a kiss which Thorin was happy to give, sucking on Dwalin’s bottom lip and pressing down just lightly with his teeth.

There was a pause in kissing as Dwalin grabbed at the hem of Thorin’s undershirt and pulled it up and over his head, but only a short one, and Thorin’s hands continued to map the chest he and Bilbo had been admired only… how long had it been? It seemed like only a few minutes and an hour all at once.

Dwalin growled as Thorin’s fingers brushed one of his nipple rings, so of course he made sure to do it again. The sound Dwalin made as he tugged on it, now that was a thing of beauty; needy and demanding and lovely.  
  
“Ours,” Thorin murmured, eyes opening wide in surprise when Dwalin hummed in agreement and pushed their foreheads together.  
  
“Yours,” he promised. Oh. Thorin hadn’t really realised that he had spoken out loud.  
  
“I’m surprised Thorin is still wearing pants, considering that you’re always going without yours,” Bilbo said, and the two cousins turned to look at their lover, who had undressed and pushed the covers down to the end of the bed. 

“I can certainly remedy that,” Dwalin promised huskily, sinking to his knees and then slowly beginning to slide Thorin’s underwear down, big hands trailing burning paths on Thorin’s hips and thighs, and Dwalin’s mouth pressing wet kisses at the skin being revealed.

“Such a lovely dick,” Dwalin said as he wrapped a hand around it, and he sounded almost fond.  
  
“Remember I have plans for it,” Bilbo warned. “Don’t make him come.”  
  
“Then you really should stop touching me,” Thorin said a bit strained. With Dwalin’s hand rubbing slowly he was really starting to remember how he had been about to come in his pants. That said pants were now lying in a pile around his feet seemed not to matter.

Grumbling Dwalin got to his feet, leaving Thorin’s cock feeling all sorts of bereft. “All right, what’s this plan then. And no cuffs. I want to touch.”

“I think Thorin should take me and you should take Thorin,” Bilbo said, patting the bed. “And come here.”  
  
“So you want me to watch after all?” Dwalin asked, raising an eyebrow. “I just said-“  
  
“No, I mean, at once? At the same time? Thorin in the middle.”  
  
The smile that spread of Dwalin’s face was slow and promised all sorts of interesting things, and Thorin froze slightly as he was getting on the bed. That was… He’d be- Thorin had to wrap a hand around himself and squeeze to avoid any embarrassing situations.  
  
“I’m not sure how long I’m going to last,” he said tightly, kneeling on the bed. “And before you start blaming Dwalin,” he added, when Bilbo looked about do just that. “It’s just as much due to you wriggling in my lap before.”  
  
“I’m sure I didn’t do anything as undignified as wriggling,” Bilbo huffed, but there was a teasing twinkle in his hazel eyes.  
  
“Think about something gross then,” Dwalin prompted as he looked through the side table for the lube.  
  
“Cauliflower,” Bilbo suggested and Dwalin looked over at them, both eyebrows raised in question.  
  
“Not exactly what I meant, but sure.”  
  
Thorin chuckled, but it quickly turned into a grimace at Bilbo’s next suggestion.  
  
“Balin in a bikini?”

“Hey,” Dwalin protested. “Leave _my_ brother out of this. I’m not the one who needs a bit of help to calm down.”  
  
“I think that did the trick though,” Thorin said, wincing slightly as the image refused to leave his head. “It’s possible it worked a little too well.”  
  
“I think we can help with that,” Bilbo murmured. “Come here.”  
  
“That’s what I was trying not to do.“  
  
“Why are you both so impossible?” Bilbo asked as Thorin crawled over to lie beside him. “Genetics or just my good luck?”  
  
“You love it,” Dwalin declared, and Thorin smiled down at their smaller lover, remembering how he’d said the exact same words before. Bilbo rolled his eyes.  
  
“You, not it.”  
  
A small bottle of lube was thrown down on the sheets, and then a much larger Dwalin followed.  
  
“We need to buy more lube,” he declared as he picked up the bottle and squirted some into the palm of his hand. “Or it’s that olive oil you told us that we’re not allowed to use.”  
  
“Not only does it leave horrid stains on the sheets, it costs way too much to just-“ Bilbo wriggled his fingers. “-be used, like that.”  
  
“It’s too expensive to slick our arses?” Dwalin asked, amused. “Sounds like a winning advertisement right there.”  
  
“I’m not sure this is the kind of expensive living Glóin is always warning me not to indulge in,” Thorin murmured, pressing a kiss against Bilbo's shoulder.  
  
“No, that’d be spending a fortune on clothes,” Dwalin said with a pointed look. Thorin and Bilbo exchanged a glance and then they both shrugged. Good clothes were expensive, that was the simple truth of it.  
  
Then they both jumped as a slick hand wrapped around their respective cocks.  
  
“Loves, you think can we stop talking about relatives, clothes, and bloody olive oil? Now that our lovely little pretty chef has seen it fit to divulge his plan, I’m finding myself rather invested in seeing it carried out.”  
  
Dwalin leaned over to kiss Thorin, murmuring: “Your cock in him-“ he nodded down at Bilbo. “Mine in your own lovely arse. And-“ he smiled as Bilbo rose up on his elbows for his own kiss, and Thorin’s dick throbbed as Bilbo moaned into it.  
  
“I hope you’ll tug yourself off, you’re always gorgeous doing that,” Dwalin told the blond. “Flushed and lovely. Especially when you’re getting fucked. Or d’ya think you’ll come anyway?”  
  
“Get me ready and we’ll see,” Bilbo said huskily. “Or, you want us to do you first?” he asked Thorin who shook his head.  
  
“Pass me the lube and I’ll do it myself. I’m still close,” he explained when Bilbo looked disappointed. “You’ll- It’s better if I do it.”  
  
“We’re too much for him to handle,” Dwalin told Bilbo seriously, and Thorin snorted because Dwalin wasn’t wrong. Some days, especially when he was travelling and somewhere half around the world it almost seemed impossible, that he got to have this. But for some reason, he was allowed to share his life with these two. And that was something he would always be grateful for.  
  
Thorin sighed as Dwalin smeared lube all over his hand with an almost childlike glee. Even during moments like this.

-  
  
Thorin gritted his teeth as he pushed his cock into Bilbo. Cauliflower. _Cauliflower_. Balin eating cauliflower while dressed in a cauliflower patterned bikini.  
  
“Oh,” Bilbo moaned appreciatively, heels digging into Thorin’s sides. “Please.”  
  
“All the way,” Dwalin murmured, stroking his hand down Thorin’s back. “Get that lovely cock all the way into him, and then I’ll fuck you.”  
  
Dwalin’s fingers slipped between his cheeks, prodding against the little furl of muscle that Thorin had stretched while thinking about the changes he’d need to do to his hotels in France the coming year, to bring more guests, because that was definitely not sexy. It had been a bit counterproductive though, as his thoughts kept turning back to his lovers.  
  
Would Bilbo like it if the suites got their own kitchens? Would Dwalin complain at the selections of cheese? (Mouldy cheese was apparently something that always should be thrown away.)  
  
And that led to him watching the two kissing and stroking each other even though he really shouldn’t as it was a much too enticing sight. Dwalin’s thick fingers curling into Bilbo, and Bilbo’s small hands scrambling at Dwalin’s shoulders, moaning so damned prettily.  
  
“Now Dwalin,” Bilbo demanded, tightening his thighs against Thorin’s sides. “And you can push him the rest of the way in when you fuck him.”  
  
“This is part of your plan?” Thorin managed, resting forehead against Bilbo’s shoulder.  
  
“It is now,” Bilbo agreed. “Please?”  
  
“Then stop saying please,” Thorin muttered, pressing kisses at whatever bits of skin that he could reach.  
  
Bilbo was snug and slick and _hot_ around him. So damned hot. Or perhaps that was because of Dwalin, now pressed against his back. Thorin hissed as the head of Dwalin’s cock slid slickly against him, prodding.  
  
“Relax,” his cousin murmured and Thorin snorted.  
  
“Remind me to tell that to you at an opportune moment.”  
  
“Bilbo,” Dwalin said. “He still uses words as ‘opportune’. Something clearly needs to be done.”  
  
“Oh, I think you’re doing it,” Thorin said, eyelids fluttering as Dwalin rolled his hips forward.  
  
“No, wrong way,” Bilbo complained as Thorin pushed back, wanting more. The both moaned as Dwalin let Thorin bear more of his weight, pushing him more firmly against Bilbo; that made the angle change slightly.  
  
“You all right?” Thorin asked huskily as Bilbo arse did something that could only be described as flutter around him.  
  
“Oh yes,” Bilbo said faintly, dreamily. “Oh darlings, again?”  
  
“Was it cauliflower you said?” Dwalin gritted out from between clenched teeth. “I’m starting to wonder how long I’m going to last as well. I feel like I’m fucking both of you at once.”  
  
He pulled back, and thrust forward again, and Thorin tried to push back into it, tried to make it good for Bilbo as well, but it was not exactly easy to concentrate on anything except for the feeling of Dwalin inside him, and Bilbo around him, and Dwalin at his back, Bilbo at his front, and their hands, stroking and caressing and-  
  
Dwalin’s hands tightened at Thorin’s hips, stopping him when he tried to grind backwards. “You move back, then I thrust? Okay?”  
  
Those were words. Yes. Definitely. And sooner or later Thorin would understand what they meant.  
  
“Ah,” Thorin groaned as he thrust into Bilbo, pulling back only to have Dwalin fuck into him. And Dwalin pulled back as Thorin instinctively rolled his hips; sinking into Bilbo again, and somehow they found a rhythm that worked and Thorin felt that if it was possible to lose one’s mind from making love it was quite possible it had happened to him.  
  
Every other slide of Dwalin’s cock against his insides nudged against his prostate and Bilbo’s arse kept clenching as the blond pulled at his cock with more and more fervour, a beautiful flush rising on his cheeks and spreading over his chest.  
  
“Going t' come,” Thorin grunted, thoughts slow as the sticky syrup that Bilbo served with pancakes, the act of forming sentences almost seeming beyond what was possible. “Very soon.”  
  
“Not, a problem,” Bilbo panted. “I’m- too. Oh, Thorin. Dwalin. You?”  
  
At least he wasn't alone.  
  
However it was Dwalin who came first, hips thrusting into Thorin with more force than before, movements jerky; breaking the wavelike motion that they had fallen into.  
  
Thorin braced himself on his elbows to stop himself from crushing Bilbo, gasping into Bilbo’s mouth in something that might have been called a kiss if one was kind enough to stretch the definition to the limit. Dwalin's beard kept scratching his back as his cousin pressed kisses into Thorin's trembling muscles.  
  
Thorin would deny whining as he felt Dwalin’s cock twitch; hips pressed firmly against Thorin's arse, and then again as everything suddenly got even wetter and slicker than before. Thorin hid his face in the crook of Bilbo’s neck as he too tumbled over the edge.  
  
A short eternity later he became aware of someone rolling him over on his back, and he mumbled an enquiry of if Bilbo had come as well? Thorin remembered hazel eyes widening in something he hoped was pleasure and not dismay.  
  
“Oh, trust me, there’s plenty of him on your stomach,” Dwalin snorted. “He’d let you know himself, but he’s busy pretending to be a pudding at the moment.”  
  
“Pudding?!” came Bilbo’s indignant, if rather faint, voice.  
  
“Sweet, sticky, kinda wobbly-“  
  
“Wobbly!?”  
  
“Sleep now,” Thorin slurred, hands reaching out blindly to pat at whatever parts of his lovers that they landed on. “Sleep.”  
  
This was met by a low chuckle and a slightly sullen silence, but two warm bodies wrapped themselves around his, and Thorin drifted off to sleep with a small, contented smile on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it, please let me know, because I'm still kinda O.O; when it comes to writing smut. So comments will greatly increase the chance of there being more.


End file.
